In our busy world, how often do we truly connect and feel with our hearts?  More often we connect with our heads.

So this year, let’s allow it to be a little different.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about what love is and how different people express it differently.  I remember when I was young, my mom would say “the way to a man’s heart is through his belly”, meaning you have to be a good cook and provide good meals to express your love.

Then there is the book “The 5 Love Languages”. Here is a quick synopsis:

1. Words of affirmation- hearing is important, like ‘I love you’, or “I appreciate you’ or ‘Thanks’. Try saying these more often.
2. Quality time – full undivided time, leave the distractions alone, just be with your loved one.
3. Receiving gifts – this person receives each gift as an expression of love, thoughtfulness, and that you made an effort to express your feelings for them.
4. Acts of service – it shows you aren’t lazy, the responsibilities are shared and that you care.
5. Physical touch – there are a variety of ways to express love and affection such as a light touch, holding hands, a hug or a pat on the back.

This Valentine season, take a look at yourself and those around you to see  how each likes to express and to receive love, and maybe try to experiment with some new ways to share your affection.

Some people, like myself, have a few languages. When you understand love languages, you can play with them a bit.

I think it would be fun to pay attention to them in the workplace, not as romantic love, but as a tool of communication.  Understanding and using the 5 languages in friendly ways at work can create a sense of participation and camaraderie for team members.

If you notice that one of your team members responds well to Words of Affirmation, writing down a few words to express how much you value their work would be a great way to make them feel happy, appreciated and motivated. If some team members respond well to physical touch, you can show your appreciation for them with a good pat on the back or a high-five. You could also show your appreciation by helping a co-worker with one of their projects, or maybe you could buy someone a cup of their favorite coffee or tea.

Understanding and using the different languages will lead to huge gains for you in love and in work.  You may find that while practicing this with your spouse, kids, friends and co-workers, some very good things will come about.

Reminds me of the phrase, “Now you’re talking my language!”